爱者如奴

It is a poor saying of Epicurus， Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus； as if man， made for the contemplation of heaven， and all noble objects， should do nothing but kneel before a little idol， and make himself a subject， though not of the mouth （as beasts are）， yet of the eye； which was given him for higher purposes.

　　伊壁鸠鲁曾说过一句笨话：“人生不过是一座大戏台。”似乎本应努力追求高尚事业的人类，却只像玩偶般地逢场作戏。虽然爱情的奴隶并不同于那般只顾吃喝的禽兽，但毕竟也只是眼目色相的奴隶，而上帝赐人以眼睛本来是有更高尚的用途的。

　　It is a strange thing， to note the excess of this passion， and how it braves the nature， and value of things， by this； that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole， is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase； for whereas it hath been well said， that the arch-flatterer， with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence， is a man’s self； certainly the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself， as the lover doth of the person loved； and therefore it was well said， that it is impossible to love， and to be wise. Neither doth this weakness appear to others only， and not to the party loved； but to the loved most of all， except the love be reciproque. For it is a true rule， that love is ever rewarded， either with the reciproque， or with an inward and secret contempt.

　　过度的爱情追求，必然会降低人本身的价值。例如，只有在爱情中，才总是需要那种浮夸谄媚的辞令。而在其他场合，同样的辞令只能招人耻笑。古人有一句名言： “最大的奉承，人总是留给自己的。”——只有对情人的奉承要算例外。因为甚至最骄傲的人，也甘愿在情人面前自轻自贱。所以古人说得好：“就是神在爱情中也难保持聪明。”爱人的这种弱点不仅在外人眼中是明显的，就是在被追求者的眼中也会很明显——除非她（他）也在追求他（她）。所以，爱情的代价就是如此，不能得到回爱，就会得到一种深藏于心的轻蔑，这是一条永真的定律。

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